Off meat.

I'm officially off meat. Forever. I've had issues with handling meat, preparing it, eating it and digesting it since I was small. For moral reasons (and for the simple fact that I don't really love it) I have thought seriously about getting off meat permanently for a long time.

I quit red meat about two years ago and have felt better, but after learning about how animal protein isn't really necessary, and how it's actually harmful to our health (causes heart disease and cancer to grow), and how hard it is on the environment to manufacture, I'm convinced now is the time to stop. I'm just ready to live a healthier lifestyle.

You would think that Chris, my carnivore husband, would be devastated by this decision. Actually, though, this was all his idea. We watched Forks Over Knives (it's on instant Netflix) and did some of our own research and decided to try a whole foods plant-based diet for 30 days. We still have some dairy items in the fridge that I don't feel good about wasting, so we're finishing that off, but we are off meat, processed foods, artificial sugar and oil and most dairy for 30 days.

No one thinks their fat, no one is trying to lose weight. We just want to see how we feel. We want to see if it'll work with our lifestyle and budget, too.

Once the 30 days is up, Chris may eat some seafood here and there and he might drink cow milk. I can't tell you his commitment level to this whole thing, because I'm not sure. But as for me, I can say with confidence I don't want meat, and unless I can find a local farm nearby, I really don't feel good about buying dairy. (Watch Vegucated, also on Netflix,  if you don't already know what goes on in factory farms.)  I will have a candy bar at the end of 30 days. I can tell you that much.

So this, friends, is the reason for the sudden influx of vegan recipe pins.  I have been sharing some of our favorite new recipes over on my other blog, in case you're interested. I'm dedicated to keeping things fun and interesting in the kitchen. I can't eat a salad for every meal and nuts for every snack.

Even though it's a lot of extra work and dishes, it's already paying off. I love how I feel after a green smoothie for dinner. I'm not bogged down anymore. I feel like working out, even after I eat. We don't own a scale, but I can feel my pants are a little loose. It's only been a week, so I'm trying to ensure I'm getting all of the calories and protein I need (this can be a struggle when meat is no longer a factor). I'll keep you posted, blog world. 

Autonomy

As I sit here at work, writing sex toy descriptions, I can't help but wonder…what else is out there? I mean, there are so many different things one can choose to do with their life, as far as where you want to live, what job you want to work, what you want to be educated in. I thought once I got my bachelor's I'd be done wondering where I fit in with the world. I like to write, so I got a degree in writing--and that was that. I thought I would settle into a fun writing job, make decent money (ya know, because I am qualified), be successful, and live happily ever after. Well, here I am, only 1.5 years after graduating, and I am already feeling restless. It's clear to me, now, that this life isn't going to satisfy me for long. I'm okay with the routine, I'm not UNhappy, nor am I upset about the way things are unfolding. But I know there's more. There's more for me to be learning. There's more of a difference to be made. I would be flattered to know that my compelling copy about dildos is moving enough to make someone out there want to purchase it. But a significant difference with a positive outcome would ultimately be more satisfying.

The point of this life, as defined by me, is to take the experiences you've had (good and bad) and use your knowledge for the greater good; it's not to make the most money the quickest or get rich by doing the least amount of work possible. I don't want a fancy house or lots of tangible things. I'd rather be passionate about my work--I would like to know that somewhere down the chain, someone is benefiting from words I have written, or that someone is inspired to do something positive because of me.

Because of this shift in mood, I think it's necessary for me to continue my education…to catch up on my intellectual autonomy. I like animals, love the environment and support many humanitarian efforts, but the catalyst that's going to bring me to the level I want to be at, is still unclear. HOW can I write something strong enough to make someone cry? HOW can I learn to document my personal experiences without feeling like I am giving myself away? HOW can I support these things I believe in using only the written word? I think these things can be learned with some more writing practice. The faculty at Weber State served as a good platform, but there's more knowledge hiding around other corners, and it's begging to leap into my head! Okay --lame metaphor. Sorry. Anyway, I feel like undergraduate work is just a starting point--or for me at least. It basically built the framework and helped me realize what I believe in.

Now, on to an MFA or PhD. Possibly. Some day. Seriously, though, if I ever did get a doctorate, I would make people call me Dr. Ross. The creative writing program at U of U is prestigious…to say the least. It's small and selective and I have no idea if I would ever be good enough for it. But for now, I think it'd be fun to take some higher level classes…or even just to brush up on some basic intro lit classes as a non-degree seeking student. I never felt like I read enough and I definitely could catch up on some classics. I won't lie--I cheated my way through some classes by skipping the book and reading the summaries…don't judge, it got hectic. I need to start reading again for my sanity. I am always surprised at the amount of good advice that comes from old books. Getting back to the basics is the best feeling. Anyway, I will keep friends and family posted on my academic decisions…Lord knows where I will get the money to go back to school. I have no debt now, so the thought of loans scares me.

It seems scattered, but nonetheless, this is basically what's going on inside my crazy writer's brain. This is my personality--I can't relax for long and it's hard for me to enjoy the fruits of my labor; that's a blessing and a curse, depending on what way you look at it. I commend those who are doing what they want and feel immeasurable satisfaction from it. I hope to be in the same position some day!

As a side note, I am grateful to have a job. I go to work and I have a blast (thanks to the characters who I work with). I'm not complaining about this place or this job, per se, just describing how it's not my choice for eternal employment. I am not talking crap on those copywriters who enjoy writing sex toy descriptions. To each their own!

I think it's hilarious how many times I said "I" in this rant…ohp sorry, there I go again.

Just to be clear...

Okay, so I am slowly figuring this out. I still don't get it.
I will try my hardest to use this blog for:

Staying in touch with friends, telling stories, sharing info about events, displaying funny jokes I hear, and maybe sharing some of my writing. Not sure about that though--I am pretty personal about my writing. I will try my hardest to start posting so I can get some feedback. Now that school's over, I feel like I've sort of abandoned the social writer side of my personality.