As I sit here at work, writing sex toy descriptions, I can't help but wonder…what else is out there? I mean, there are so many different things one can choose to do with their life, as far as where you want to live, what job you want to work, what you want to be educated in. I thought once I got my bachelor's I'd be done wondering where I fit in with the world. I like to write, so I got a degree in writing--and that was that. I thought I would settle into a fun writing job, make decent money (ya know, because I am qualified), be successful, and live happily ever after. Well, here I am, only 1.5 years after graduating, and I am already feeling restless. It's clear to me, now, that this life isn't going to satisfy me for long. I'm okay with the routine, I'm not UNhappy, nor am I upset about the way things are unfolding. But I know there's more. There's more for me to be learning. There's more of a difference to be made. I would be flattered to know that my compelling copy about dildos is moving enough to make someone out there want to purchase it. But a significant difference with a positive outcome would ultimately be more satisfying.
The point of this life, as defined by me, is to take the experiences you've had (good and bad) and use your knowledge for the greater good; it's not to make the most money the quickest or get rich by doing the least amount of work possible. I don't want a fancy house or lots of tangible things. I'd rather be passionate about my work--I would like to know that somewhere down the chain, someone is benefiting from words I have written, or that someone is inspired to do something positive because of me.
Because of this shift in mood, I think it's necessary for me to continue my education…to catch up on my intellectual autonomy. I like animals, love the environment and support many humanitarian efforts, but the catalyst that's going to bring me to the level I want to be at, is still unclear. HOW can I write something strong enough to make someone cry? HOW can I learn to document my personal experiences without feeling like I am giving myself away? HOW can I support these things I believe in using only the written word? I think these things can be learned with some more writing practice. The faculty at Weber State served as a good platform, but there's more knowledge hiding around other corners, and it's begging to leap into my head! Okay --lame metaphor. Sorry. Anyway, I feel like undergraduate work is just a starting point--or for me at least. It basically built the framework and helped me realize what I believe in.
As a side note, I am grateful to have a job. I go to work and I have a blast (thanks to the characters who I work with). I'm not complaining about this place or this job, per se, just describing how it's not my choice for eternal employment. I am not talking crap on those copywriters who enjoy writing sex toy descriptions. To each their own!
I think it's hilarious how many times I said "I" in this rant…ohp sorry, there I go again.