November 14, 2013


Strange things have been happening lately.

I lost my heartburn medication the other night, and we were just about to eat a tomatoey meal, so I got a little frantic. "WHERE COULD IT BE. I keep it right here in the medicine cabinet." Chris started helping me look. We looked in drawers, the fridge, anywhere that the tiny bottle could have possibly planted itself.

Twenty minutes later, I found it. In Chris's lunch box inside the pantry.


Then, about two days after that, I was happily nesting at home on a sunny Saturday, windows open, music loud, gettin' shit done, prepping for baby, when I realized that my phone was missing. It wasn't in any of the regular places you set your phone (dresser, dryer, by the toilet, on the charger).

Again, a feeling of hysteria swept over me, like HOW WILL I LIVE ANOTHER MINUTE WITHOUT MY CELL PHONE (even though I hadn't noticed it was gone for the last two hours). What if the baby comes early and I can't call Chris? What if I die and I can't call Chris. OMG OMG FREAK OUT. I was breathing heavily as I turned the house upside down searching for that stewpid phone.

Maybe one of my dogs hid it from me.

Then I thought about the heartburn medicine incident. If I put that somewhere strange without remembering, is it possible I put my phone some place even weirder?

Yep. Yep, it is possible. Because I found it two hours later in the recycling bin outside.

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